You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
