my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
