feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
