The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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