Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
