some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
