I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
