i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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