At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
