If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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