Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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