Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
