Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
