Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
