No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize