2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
