do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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