One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
