Yo dont text me then not text me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
