Fuck appropriateness.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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