i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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