Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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