She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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