hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
