A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize