..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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