please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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