Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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