Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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