Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
