How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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