This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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