finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
