Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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