Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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