So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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