you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize