its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
