You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
