So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize