I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize