so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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