did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just cut my nipple shaving
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
