No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
