I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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