Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
