I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
