if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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