Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
