If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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