I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
