he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
