Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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