My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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