He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
