There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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