This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
