Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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