The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
