i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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