i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
