It's like God shit irony all over that family
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
