names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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