So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
