i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
